Yessirree Bob. Step right up to the amazing, the glorious, the incredible GREED-Line Train connecting bustling downtown Clearwater to the St. Petersburg arts district. Take the 24 mile, $2.6 billion journey along the cushy rail bed built entirely on the tax dollars of poor and middle class plebs. A luxurious bed of tax dollars makes for the smoothest of rides – a 300% annual increase in tax dollars! Worry not, low ridership means you will have a private train car as you ride the near empty train from your mighty St. Pete Condo tower for a night of dining in Clearwater and who knows what else? Watch old-fashioned “automobiles” stop suddenly as they wait in line at the rail crossing while your private train carriage whizzes by on a breathtaking 60 minute journey between the two major travel destinations – breakneck speeds for sure! Yes, it’s the GREED-Line, enriching the cronies, the rich and the well connected with sales tax dollars squeezed from – er volunteered by– the working class to ensure Pinellas “moves forward” in the most progressive of ways. Thanks Politicians and Corporatists alike for looking out for “the common good” (tee hee)!
See the amazing profit margins of the land developers at the 24 station sites bought at government-inflated prices along the way. Hey, look out the window. WAS THAT A FAT CAT!? Don’t worry, those low income “hold outs” had their land taken by eminent domain – we won’t let those luddites interfere with our grand rail vision just because they want a so-called “fair” price. Oh yes, the Greed-line will always be well oiled because we can just take money from the bus system to pay for it! Take in the amazing increased building and population density as the cronies grow fat on “transit-oriented development” (TOD)! Who says you can’t kiss a TOD and make a prince rich? The Greed-line – soon to be subsidized for decades by the willing taxpayers and labor-force of Pinellas and all those snow-bird money machines. Watch the snowbirds flock to the county with the highest sales tax in the state ; 8% for the locals too! Now that’s sweet! Surely everyone and the snowbirds will appreciate the train that connects St. Pete to Clearwater but bypasses that pesky, noisy Tampa Airport region.
Come one, come all and ride the Greed-line – unless you are one of those people who wants Pinellas to be stuck in the past. Ick! Move to the FUTURE with the brand new 19th century transportation modality: the choo-choo train! How in the world could 58% of Hillsborough voters have rejected this in 2010? ONWARD – to the FUTURE! Ride the GREED-Line!